KYLE-HIGH STADIUM
Rick Morrissey of the Tribune, in Denver for some reason (to get an exclusive on the Rockies pulling a Charlie Finley and trying to employ orange baseballs that could be seen in the snow?) actually tried to do a, er, snow job on the readers with the thesis that Kyle Orton could be the franchise quarterback the Broncos have been waiting for.
Um, this was premised on Orton’s 4-0 start and the fact he’s always been a winner. ‘Tis true. “Tis also true that Orton’s first Broncos’ win came on a last-second tipped pass that went 87 yards for a touchdown. And that all four of his victories were made possible by a defense that had allowed a total of 26 points.
And then today’s game. Once you got over the Broncos’ throw-up, er, throwback uniforms, inspired by either the old San Diego Padres or the residue of drug test samples, Orton looked pretty decent. And not just as a receiver in the “Wild Horses” formation.
Yes, despite the yellow and brown mustard uniforms and Rex’s jersey number 8, (the only more revolting sight was that of Bill Belichick stuffing his sock with the red challenge flag, the bloodiest-looking Boston sock since Curt Schilling), Orton showed he can play quarterback. A 98-yard drive to tie the game in the fourth quarter (sure, a taunting penalty and a great offensive line helped), and then the drive in overtime to beat the Patriots and one of the all-time franchise quarterbacks, Tom Brady. But Orton was a bit lucky. He almost threw an interception on the play before the winning field goal.
It also helps to have Josh McDaniels, outcoaching his mentor, one of the all-time franchise coaches, Belichick.
The Broncos are 5-0. The last time they started like that was in 1998, and they won the Super Bowl. So Orton might have a chance to show if he’s a franchise quarterback. Right now, you’d still have to say that Orton is to Cutler as Cutler was to Elway. Maybe in February Orton will show otherwise.
**********************************************************
CEDRIC TRESDOS COMPLEMENTS CHAD OCHOCINCO
And speaking of players who were expendable here, the Bears face Cedric Benson in a fortnight (er, late afternoon, 3:15 start), and all he did today was become the first rusher to gain more than 100 yards in the last 40 games against the Ravens. He had 120 yards. So he’s flourishing in Cincy. Maybe the Cubs can trade Milton Bradley to Cincy and save Dusty Baker’s job there.
*********************************************************
THE 40-YEAR-OLD VERSION
Yeah, Brett Favre was fine but look at the opponent. The Rams don’t even know how to do throwback uniforms right. Vintage uniforms from 1999? Shouldn’t the uniforms be at least as old the opposing quarterback? This won’t happen when Immediate Rush Limbaugh takes over.
*********************************************************
OLD STEEL ON ICE
Yes, it was great to see good ol’ numbers 21, 35, 9 and 18 on skates at the United Center for the home opener. This, after the red carpet treatment (carpet diem is John McDonough’s marketing strategy. He doesn’t miss an opportunity to showcase the old-timers. In fact, since the Blackhawk blackout of home games has been lifted, we’ve seen more of Stan, Tony and Bobby at home than we ever did back in the day of the roar. But Bobby and Tony had a hard time skating. Would be better to have them each drive a Zamboni and joust with their sticks. Bobby would try to flip off Tony’s mask. Tony would try to make Bobby go toupe-less.)
But ain’t it great that we can still call a 70-year-old man “Bobby”? He’s not 70. It’s 1970, and Bobby and Tony and Stan are beating the Montreal Canadiens 10-2 in the last regular season game because the Habs had to pull their goalie midway through the game to try to score enough goals to get into the playoffs. I think that was before the roar.
Please tell me how Kris Versteeg saw Duncan Keith on the pass that set up the tying goal. Does Kris have “spinorama-vision”?
Shouldn’t McDonough have been in charge of the city’s Olympic bid? Michael Jordan? McDonough would have gotten the ghost of Red Grange to gallop into the IOC’s dreams.
***********************************************************
SEETHING IS BELIEVING
Which is the greater case of denial? One man, left field foul line umpire Phil Cuzzi not seeing what was right in front of his face, that is, Joe Mauer’s fly ball dropping into fair territory in the top of the 11th Friday night?
Or 50,006 fans, two innings earlier wildly cheering Alex Rodriguez, steroid cheat, as he trotted around the bases with the game-tying homerun?
**********************************************************
TAMPA 2 SCHEME: LOU, THEN LARUSSA?
Tony LaRussa says after a Cub-like exit against the Dodgers, he doesn’t know if he’s going to come back for a 15th year with the Cardinals. Anyone can win a World Series in St. Louis. Jim Essian could win one. Jerry Reinsdorf said the biggest mistake he ever made was letting Tony LaRussa go (and Jerry’s a guy who let Phil Jackson go). But Jerry hasn’t really paid dearly enough for letting Hawk hack Tony. Nothing short of the Cubs under LaRussa winning it all will do.
***************************************************************
THE GREAT DEWAYNE ROBBERY
Is Dewayne Wise, who just opted for free agency instead of accepting a demotion to the minors, the best White Sox center fielder ever?
Because all I know is that while Landis and Berry and Rowand were terrific, Wise’s 3-D image will forever be embedded in our imagination as we gaze upon those other flat illustrations of Pierce, Minoso, and company.
**************************************************************
COMMIT TO THE INDIAN, BUT WHICH ONE?
The Gila Indian river tribe is trying to steal Cub Nation from Mesa and move it south of Phoenix during spring training. I have a mind to make a Solomon, er, Sitting Bull-like decision, and order the Cubs to move to Florida, which is also wooing the team. Arizona could lose $52 million a year if the Cubs move out of state. Maybe we should give Milton Bradley to Arizona. And Cincy. Now that’s Solomon-like.
************************************************************
WE RUNNETH OVER WITH CUPS
Any golf tournament called a “Cup” isn’t worth watching. Okay, maybe the Ryder Cup. But the Fed-Ex Cup followed by the President’s Cup? The President’s has all the luster of an off-year election. And did you know golf has been added to the Olympics? Yes, for 2016. 2016! Not to worry. Tiger will have retired by then with the record in majors. And, besides, wouldn’t you rather see golfers playing out of a sand trap on Ipanema beach?
*************************************************************
THE TOGETHERNESS OF THE LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS
I would have watched the Chicago marathon if the Bears had entered as a team during the bye week, with ball boy Darryl Magee taking the final leg.
